I’ve been dealing with a love-related situation now for the last 2 months. I basically showed some kindness and enthusiasm to a mutual friend’s friend that just happened to to tag along to a series of football watch parties and now she won’t take the hint that I’m not interested in her.
As I sit here mentally crafting what I hope will be a final, tactful and respectful clarification for her I can’t help but reflect upon what I’ve learned about love throughout the years. There’s alot, but because I don’t want to bore anyone, I’ll do two:
It’s darn near impossible to get someone to fall in love with you if they are secure in their lives. I don’t want to say that I’m happy because I don’t like to revel in conceptual extremes. What I want to do is to make this explanation as sterile and proto-scientific as possible. So, yes, I am secure in my life meaning that I have the logistics to make almost every desire I can conjure up materialize – this not only applies to Amazon Prime or getting my groceries delivered. I have a subscription to LIFE Prime 🤣; if I want something, I can generally have it. Consequently, this leaves no room for the need for true love. Don’t get me wrong “true love” is cool and all but I would not trade in the harmonic equilibrium of my life for that. There was a time that I would probably made a hypothetical trade for, say…
(from left to right; Margot Robbie, or Gal Gadot, or Zoe Saldana)
But even this hypothetical trade: being that they would declare their undying fidelity to me , as wildly improbable as it is, would not make sense for me.
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The second thing I’ve learned about love is that it rarely ever pays to do the upfront approach…..UNLESS you have a really earth-shattering set of incentives to COERCE convince someone with 🤣. What are my incentives?? Well, that’s a secret lol. I wouldn’t want anyone to have the inside scoop on me lol. The trouble with this girl’s approach was that she was VERY face on about it – but in a situation or social setting where it was all but irrelevant. If this were a straight out speed dating function or a function whose goal it is to match people, it would have worked. But this is social drinking, getting together at a friend’s house, kindness reciprocating (very small tokens of reciprocation, just staying within politeness).
If she really wanted to get me to pay attention to her, she should have played a more cloak & dagger approach. Ok, maybe that’s a little too sinister, but you get my point. LMAO.
She should have concoted a mixture of mystery, allure and sensuality. Something to draw my royally lazy ass up from my velvet chaise lounge life and into the dangerously unstable oceans of unfettered passion! In short, she should have seduced me! The effort alone may have…..and I say this carefully, mayyyyyyy have convinced me.
As it was, she thought a full frontal (no pun intended) approach was enough. No incidental eye contact for more than 2 seconds, no well timed touch of the arm, no whispery innuendo or salacious double entendre word play – nothing!
Look, I’m not just some trophy boy-toy ok? I’m not some piece of meat for someone to satisfy their biblically repressed carnal urges on. I’m more than just….this physicality! I take and edit my own photos, I read stuff on the internet, I blog about ideas! For gosh sakes, read here about my driving record! There’s substance beyond…just this! If you want to control my body. Baby, you gotta take control of my mind!
😂😂😂😂
Ok ok ok, juvenile jokes aside Love is a special thing… it’s kinda cool. But Love also needs empathy and respect, if you either can or can’t be in the partnership, or you are declaring your love for someone or you are the object of someone’s affection. My hope is that I can navigate this situation easily and gently so I can enjoy my buffalo wings in peace during the next football watch party.
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