Almost two years ago, I decided to use some extra cash left-over for the month to purchase a long-arm grabby tool:
Upon delivery, I thought that this was going to be a massive help in my life. And it was…in a halfway sort of manner. You see, I hated the fact that I had to twist my arm and trigger the grab mechanism if I wanted to grab something horizontally, like a cup or hanging Christmas ornaments.
Bear with me on this as I know what all of you are thinking lol.
After using it for all those months, I became so exasperated with it. I launched into these diatribes about the state of modern manufacturing.
My eloquent monologues (to my poor family members/friends I could catch and force to listen) lamented the decline of manufacturing ingenuity.
I railed against “THE SYSTEM” and “EVIL GLOBALISTS” and “LATE STAGE CAPITALISM” for taking advantage of innocent consumers like myself for offering half hearted solutions when – for USD $40 – this simple product should have provided the full spectrum of service.
And when it would inevitably fail to hold my Christmas ornaments and drop them mid-hanging because of its vertical grip orientation, I would just shake my head in contempt. But my sense of noblesse-oblige would beg me to remember that somewhere outside of my United States bubble, my purchase had helped a family purchase groceries and snacks.
But everytime I took a quick glance at the little embossed symbol at the gripping mechanism, I couln’t help but feel a rising sense of moral indignation. The nerve of this company, to stamp their own symbol of trickery on this thing, like it’s something to be proud of. As if this modern symbolic take of enlightenment, yin and yang with the arrows flowing in some type of cosmic harmony was supposed to soften the blow of having USD$40 scammed out of me.
But it wasn’t until a late hazy July afternoon, with the sun lazily shining through my patio doors, and I exasperatingly had to twist my arm once again for the grabber to pick up my cup (from my fab standing table btw), that I realized the symbol wasn’t a modern yin and yang interpretation. Against the bright July sunlight, the line bisecting the circle was actually an arrow describing a pulling out motion and coupled with the two additional flowing out arrows demonstrated the grabbing mechanism’s ability to be rotated to…..a horizontal orientation.
I’ve since been using the grabber, but this time with a more respectful and humble reverence. It truly has been a life saver, completely, now that I know how to toggle the grabber from a vertical grabber to a horizontal one.
So, you see my good friends, I wanted to share my experience with you because having a dangerous level of intelligence isn’t necessarily indicative of a high level, it could also be symbolic of having one that’s far lower than one’s own estimation 😂
(the ez-pik, in its horizontal grabbing orientation LOL)
😂
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