Moderate Living

Hello, I'm Mike – I write every Tuesdays and Fridays

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Is There A Danger To Having Too Much Comfort Or Peace & Quiet?????

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t understand?
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Some time ago, my mother got a brief reprieve from some of her social obligations and decided to stay at my house for the weekend. 

I was so elated from this unexpected ocassion that I bought these ready to cook gourmet meals from this local fifi grocery store for dinner; salmon with crabmeat on top (and some vegetables). They were actually really good. I wish I took pictures. 

Other than that I just enjoyed chatting with her and catching up. It was a comfortable and peaceful weekend. There was something idyllic about it all – being around people that I cherish, talking over coffee, taking the time to watch a movie, etc…..almost parochial. Hence, the unease – because as I was enjoying myself, an issue that’s been struggling to coalesce in my mind came to the forefront of my consciousness.

I feel this primal strength in my identity slipping away.

Maybe it was the gourmet meal.

Or maybe it was the fact that I didn’t even go out to get them, I had them delivered to the house…like I do with my groceries. I rarely go to the store anymore, I have my groceries delivered all the time.

All the time.

It’s the same with just….stuff. If I need something, I log onto the olllllll’ Amazon website and because I have Prime, it’s delivered to me in 48 hours – at most. In fact, I almost scoff at items that take more than 4 days to be delivered.

There is a reason for this. I just need time.

I’m an addict for time.

Time is like the most important-est thing to me. It is everything.

Accumulating time is my thannng!

Why? So that I can revel in the peace and quiet as much as possible, so I can cherish life outside of the stresses of my work (because yes, my work/life balance is sh*t – I admit this).

Maybe all this peace and quiet is too much? Maybe this is the tsunami in my internal monologue?? And that’s where the fear comes in about something just….overtaking me violently when I least expect it. 

It’s kind of like that Batman scene where he fights Bane and loses. 

Bane represents the physical manifestation of the cosmic debt that I have to pay for – all the peace and quiet I have enjoyed.

And I’m living the Bruce Wayne life with the Batman dichotomy…

…..but without the massive mansion… or the vast fortune….

ok, basically minus everything LOL

I feel like I expose myself to enough catastrophic danger/conflict (I have to go to Philadelphia & New York City at least once or twice a month 😂). Maybe…it’s not enough??? How?? Am I really that comfortable??

I struggle with this.

“peace has cost you strength. victory has defeated you.”

– Bane, when he was beating Batman 😨

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39 responses to “Is There A Danger To Having Too Much Comfort Or Peace & Quiet?????”

  1. journeyonalllevels Avatar
    journeyonalllevels

    Loved reading this, really. It pulled me in. I can’t say I always felt that way in the past, but I’ve learned something over time, even in those moments of doubt or the little “what if” negatives, I’ve come to expect my karma. So when peace of mind settles in, when contentment shows up, when my day flows just right, I smile. Because every tiny thing carries its own karma.

    And the more aware you are of the good, the small, quiet, overlooked good, the more good finds its way back to you. But you have to believe it. All it really takes is choosing to look for the good and being a little more mindful, a little more open.

    That’s just what my own journey has taught me.
    Stay awesome.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      you are right on this. and it’s a great way of looking at things. everything indeed carries its own karma or its own weight that will carry then pendulum when the time inevitably comes. this is why I have resigned to enjoy these periods of peace and quiet as much as I can. thank you for your thoughtful comment and great insight – I hope you are having a great Friday!

      Reply
  2. Vero Avatar
    Vero

    Your life sounds a lot like mine. I, too, wonder sometimes if I am becoming too much of a recluse. Even being thirty miles from town, I am starting to be able to get store to home direct delivery. This may sound unreal, but I haven’t set foot in Walmart in five years. I stopped going when Covid hit and just never picked it up again.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      I don’t find it unreal at all. in fact, I also believe that we are living very very similar lives. I, too, had my entire shopping paradigm shifted by COVID. there was a point where I was still sort of going out but in the end, if the service is there then I just don’t feel the need to do it – especially if I’m saving any sort of meaningful time.

      people will ask if there is any sort of measurable indicator of how this has affected my life. I always believe that for everything you do, something else happens where you least expect; the time savings I had obviously went towards the expense of having delivery costs – but simultaneously, I haven’t had to take my personal car to the gas station in a while.

      and as for being reclusive – I personally am more of a private person but like you, I also know the necessity of having a public identity. I believe that if the public identity is fine even though there is a time investment needed, I believe it all takes care of itself.

      happy Friday Vero!

      Reply
      1. Vero Avatar
        Vero

        Very well-said, Mike! Happy Friday to you as well. (Even though it is pretty well over)😊

        Reply
      2. Vero Avatar
        Vero

        I just took a look at your site, Mike and it says you deleted it? Strange goings on!

        Reply
        1. Michael Williams Avatar
          Michael Williams

          yes, that was the old URL. the new one is :

          moderatelivingblog.com

          I purchased a domain amongst other things that I tinkered with regarding the site lol.

          Reply
          1. Vero Avatar
            Vero

            Ohhhh ok!! Cool!!

            Reply
          2. Vero Avatar
            Vero

            I upgraded one level and am thinking of going up one more level. I like being able to use blocks and coding.

            Reply
            1. Michael Williams Avatar
              Michael Williams

              my experience has been that once you do the blocks, that’s pretty much it as WP wants you to think of coding in terms of the blocks. still, i would say that unless you want more space for your media, you don’t have to upgrade to a bigger plan than the two middle ones towards the free tier. and also, there are still restrictions on the types of webpages you can customize. but if you do want the full customization, it may very well be that you have to go to wordpress.ORG instead of the .COM one as there you can upload your own theme but the catch is that you have to have your own webhost like GoDaddy.com or (I think) Squarespace.

              either way, good luck! lots to learn about this professional blogging world!

              Reply
              1. Vero Avatar
                Vero

                Well I sure wouldn’t like having to host “out of town!!!” That would be very inconvenient!

                Reply
              2. Vero Avatar
                Vero

                I have premium and thinking of upgrading to business. That’s all I would ever need.

                Reply
  3. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar
    Willie Torres Jr.

    Most people don’t understand that comfort can pull you away from the Cross. Peace isn’t bad.
    Your weekend was beautiful. But that tension you felt? That’s real too. It’s that quiet question… am I choosing comfort over growth?

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      yes, comfort can be an enemy Willie, especially if you don’t temper it with the right perspective and engage in it too much!

      Reply
  4. CJ Antichow Avatar
    CJ Antichow

    I think it’s smart that you recognize the need for and strive for time! Some people are so busy being busy and before they know it, they’ve turned old and it’s too late to enjoy the right now. I was actually thinking about being present in the middle of the night last night after I’d gotten up to feed Baby RR and then crawled back into bed with him sleeping on one side of me and Sid on the other….it’s the coziest spot on earth and instead of letting my mind roam through all kinds of catastrophic scenarios (past and future) i said to myself “Be. Here”
    Then I decided that should be my next tattoo 🤷🏻‍♀️
    Also, Mike you’d go crazy up here lol cause even with Prime, i don’t get pkgs for usually a week 😬

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      I really like that thought process CJ. for the longest time, I was always engaging life in the future and “for” the future. then I realized that doing that affects the beauty of the present and has an ironic way of creating the very future you want to avoid.

      it’s said that we only have the here and now, and everything derives from it. I agree with this strongly even though there are points where I will proactively put markers ahead of me for the future’s sake. but in the end, I know that past a certain degree, thinking of the future without being flexible is an exercise in futility.

      so yes, “Be.Here” is the perfect ink to get. much better than “only god can judge me” 😂

      and as for Amazon, I figure it would take more time for stuff to get up to you. In fact, I started using Amazon even more when I got back from being up in the mountains. Up there, it’s just like what it is for you guys up north; packages take longer to sort out so that a delivery truck can create an optimal delivery route. In the end, it was manageable enough where I didn’t mind anymore and learned to plan out my life accordingly, but when I got back to New Jersey and realized how fast everything could be, it just supercharged my resolve to do it this way moving forward.

      Reply
  5. nancyb422 Avatar
    nancyb422

    I still work outside the home but on the weekends when there are days I never leave the house (or the yard), I recognize I could do that for many successive days.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      yep, that’s been my experience too. it’s hard to articulate without sounding misanthropic 😂 but there really is a benefit to being exposed – for a vast majority of the time – to the people you want to be around or the people you understand you need to deal with in a professional setting. it gives everything an expectation of behavioral norms. of course, too much of this can theoretically hamper one’s social sense so I make it a point to go out for drinks every now and then and experience Manhattan. but yes, I believe my longest just being alone and working was 2 weeks non-stop.

      Reply
      1. nancyb422 Avatar
        nancyb422

        Even though I work outside the home I only interact with one or two people face to face, my son (37), and our office worker (62), and my husband of course! I recently started volunteering with an organization and there are many types of female personalities. Yikes! It is tough to navigate.

        Reply
        1. Michael Williams Avatar
          Michael Williams

          i can imagine!

          Reply
  6. Tom Darby Avatar
    Tom Darby

    Yes. Too much makes one weak. Moderation. LOL

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      haha. now here’s the question, is TOO MUCH moderation still a good thing? LOL

      we may be looking at a pendulum paradox here Tom

      Reply
      1. Tom Darby Avatar
        Tom Darby

        LOL

        Reply
  7. thingsihavethoughtof Avatar
    thingsihavethoughtof

    My fellow psychonaught, I think we are programmed to find the least amount of work for the maximum benefit, so in our current environment we will meticulously plan such things. And if something goes awry we have failed and the feeling is negative so we will do better next time. This is the ‘control’ side of life (Yin), we yearn it as comfort. But you need to balance with some ‘chaos’, so you aren’t spending your life meticulously planning the exact new gadget that will fulfil your life. Get a girlfriend, you don’t have to be perfect for her, she won’t be perfect for you, don’t be scared to say it doesn’t work and try again. If you don’t feel like it, talk to AI or someone else, get this aspect sorted. You won’t have time for your peaceful comfort and it will annoy you, but there be other comforts. The longer you are in control, the harder it is to give it up. I know I’m not supposed to talk like this, but it’s my own experience.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      this is a great viewpoint Rob! and I appreciate the time you took to articulate it. I like the concept of the control side and chaos side of life and I’ve concluded that there is a pendulum aspect to this whole thing. I never let myself get too far out one way without balancing myself out in another.

      still that worrying side of me is always scanning what’s outside of my mental parameters. Do I want to carry excess capacity at this point in my life? The honest answer is no. But at the same time, I want to make sure that I’m doing something with that free capacity. For every unit of time I spend “free” I do have nightcaps to fill it up with. But that is another can of worms in and of itself. Balance, balance, balance!

      hope you and your girlfriend are having fun Rob. you gotta do a post on that!

      Reply
      1. thingsihavethoughtof Avatar
        thingsihavethoughtof

        Haha… good to hear you have it under control… I think! Yes, I should post, not sure about her though, we’ll see 🙂

        Reply
  8. Darryl B Avatar
    Darryl B

    That work/life thing can be tricky, Mike. Like fighting twins, one always gaining at the expense of the other. Working from home ironically gave me LESS time as the boundary between the “office” (study) and, 10’ away, “home” (bedroom) were blurred.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      that’s right Darryl. we are caught amidst a pendulum construct and letting one side get the weight will only result in the reversal being just as rough.

      For myself, I have spent nights thinking through everything that I could reasonably think through in terms of what lies ahead. My concern shifts often to – as you said – what is gaining at the expense of something that I may not be aware of.

      It’s a never-ending game Darryl. Hope you are enjoying your Friday!

      Reply
  9. The Luttie Board Avatar
    The Luttie Board

    I do relate to the situation wherein, I am accustomed to chaos thereby makes me in doubt the presence of peace.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you for your thoughts on this. I, too, think that this may very well be my frame of thought. like you, I know there is another side of the pendulum, so it makes me uncomfortable to get used to either side (whether it be peace or chaos) too easily.

      Reply
  10. Nancy Homlitas Avatar
    Nancy Homlitas

    Finding a balance between work and leisure time helps prevent burnout and improves productivity. So keep fighting for it, Mike! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      it’s so worth it Nancy! thank you 🙂

      Reply
  11. boromax Avatar
    boromax

    So odd how we experience guilt when we are enjoying peace and quiet. Modern life tends to push us toward constant stimulation and activities. I retired about four years ago, and it has taken a while to be comfortable with COMFORT – peace, rest, quiet, sweet moments with my loved ones. We recently watched The Madison (tv series), and I noted the stark contrast being highlighted between city life (New York City, no less) and the seemingly endless wilderness of Montana.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      The Madison? that’s not that Taylor Sheridan spin-off type show from Yellowstone is it (I may be getting shows mixed up). I ask because I’m waiting for all the other ones that they said were coming out and it seems like they are all stuck in the mud producing wise.

      As for peace and quiet, yes – I really believe that it’s because we are all driven to such a level that the opposite almost becomes alarming to deal with. But like I said with another commenter, it is worth it. Especially this day and age.

      May you enjoy more peace and quiet days on your retirement – congratulations.

      Reply
  12. ibarynt Avatar
    ibarynt

    There’s that saying, easy times make men weak or something, I have to search for that quote. You must be feeling the same way, too much peace and comfort, it’s robbing you of peace 🤨.
    Is traveling to NYC and Philadelphia really such a chore? 😁

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      yes, that quote is very relevant to me. so I try to balance everything out.

      as for the two cities, just because I’m there as a man and by virtue of men competing for women in one way shape or form, I will always be subject to some degree of confrontation whether its passive or kinetic. in that way, the city is a chore but in other ways where the scene is controlled like in a restaurant it is easy living!

      Reply
  13. Edward Ortiz Avatar
    Edward Ortiz

    Man, why do you have to remind me about that beating? When I saw the movie, I couldn’t believe that Batman got defeated. Whoever came up with that idea was a genius. Luckily, Batman rose from the ashes and defeated Bane. Good one, Mike.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      we all have to do remedial training every once in a while lest a Bane like force enters our lives. That was indeed a rough beating he suffered – the playboy life had Bruce Wayne weak lol.

      Reply
      1. Edward Ortiz Avatar
        Edward Ortiz

        Yes! He had to go to the hole and man up.

        Reply

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