Determined to uncover the relative truth of the pizza I ate this week, I took another trip to my regular pizzeria for lunch. I ordered one regular slice of New York style pizza.
If you don’t know, New York style pizza is distinguished by its thin, crunchy but very stable crust. It’s made this way so that people working in Manhattan could fold the slice in half and the crunchy dough could keep the oily cheese and marina mixture from soaking through the fold. This allowed for minimum spillage whilst eating and walking back to the office/work-site.
Anyway, I had a slice. I waited for any ill effects.
None.
This supports my conclusion that the other pizzeria place was using some type of weird synthetic dough that was – not only more rubbery – but the cheese was a bionic molecular concoction as well.
Like I had Bladerunner pizza or something.
Maybe that’s my calling. I’ll be like that guy in Bladerunner – but my job is to find bad and fake pizza whilst on my way to some type of existential ephiphany not knowing that I, myself, was synthesized using the same protocols as the pizza I’m hunting or “retiring”.
Ok, I’m logging off WordPress for the rest of the week. Enjoy the weekend, y’all. lol
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