Moderate Living

Hello, I'm Mike – I write every Tuesdays and Fridays

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The Shame Of Bankruptcy

Daily writing prompt
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?
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I was that business minded, party hard guy out of college. The high action, lots of stuff going on type. And my 20’s were about making money and being singularly focused on that goal and the lifestyle that came with it; fast rented sportscars, expensive dinners, whirlwind passionate short term girlfriends (but I was very respectful), etc.

Then, I blew up in late 2006 and filed for bankruptcy in 2007.

It was a horrible time in my life. I couldn’t get any real financial traction back until probably 2011 and even then, I don’t think I was clearheaded until 2017 and whether I am ok now in 2026 is still debatable. During that time, I discovered alot of things – namely, how flimsy and conditional the social hierarchy really is, the last being 2011. I also dealt with a very personal loss (2007) that will follow me until the day I die.

sometimes, on a Friday like this in the middle of July, I’d just leave my office in Manhattan and go home. I was miserable as Hell. But I was getting some pretty cool photography shots with a used DSLR I bought thanks to a young junior worker that introduced me to photography. This is right off of the New Jersey Light Rail/PATH train station (Exchange Place) looking at the nearly finished Freedom Tower. (photo by: moderatelivingblog.com)

I may write about it sometime in depth but yes, those were horrible years for me.

If I’m being honest, I don’t think I ever got through it. In many ways, that chapter of my life remains with me albeit in some condensed state of remission. And, in the right circumstances it could all come roaring back.

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46 responses to “The Shame Of Bankruptcy”

  1. Maggie Avatar
    Maggie

    You are strong my friend, never forget that 💜.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you Maggie! we must always try to be composed!

      Reply
      1. Maggie Avatar
        Maggie

        It’s healing to talk about it, on your terms 💜

        Reply
  2. CJ Antichow Avatar
    CJ Antichow

    You’ve come through it Mike, it’s behind you! Anything could blow up in our lives at any old time, peaceful waters only prevail for so long but you’ve proved that you can navigate murky waters!

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thanks CJ! I agree, the more we understand that life can blow up at any point, the more we plan in a constructive way to meet those challenges!

      Reply
  3. Betty Avatar
    Betty

    Wow, this post really makes you stop and think. You’ve been through a true crucible, Mike and it’s completely understandable that those years left a permanent mark on you. What I love is– that even in your most miserable moments, you found a creative outlet through photography.

    That shot of the Freedom Tower is stunning—there’s a beautiful irony in capturing a symbol of rebuilding while you were quietly trying to navigate your own wreckage.

    I hope you do write about it in depth sometime. Your perspective on the “flimsy social hierarchy” is something a lot of people need to hear. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you Betty! and I”m glad you liked that shot of the Freedom Tower, it’ll never be the same as the twin towers but it’s still beautiful. and knowing I captured it around this time 12 or 13 years ago makes it poignant!

      Reply
      1. Betty Avatar
        Betty

        You’re welcome, Mike!

        Reply
  4. MJ🍸 Avatar
    MJ🍸

    You’re a strong individual. You’ve overcome a great deal. Thank you for sharing a vulnerable time in your life.
    I glimpse back every now and again, I’ve learned to only do that to see how far I’ve come. Making new neural pathways anytime the anxiety of any trauma tries to steal my moment.
    Have a great weekend, Mike.

    -MJ🍸

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you MJ! yes, looking back every now and then really helps put things into perspective. we all have really traveled such a long way. blessings to you and the family! 🙂

      Reply
  5. arlene Avatar
    arlene

    You have surpassed the hard times Mike. Keep going. Life is beautiful.🍃🍂

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you Arlene! we do owe it to ourselves to keep going 🙂

      Reply
  6. Christopher Hall Avatar
    Christopher Hall

    Man, I felt this one deeply. It’s truly hard to find strength past all of that regret. Yet, here you stand despite it! I think your life today is quite a damn good testament to standing strong and firm, as you’ve weathered through the storm. 💪🏻

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thanks Chris! you rock brother!

      yeah, i don’t really know how to characterize that time. a part of me wants to emotionally let it fly but I also know things happened for (for lack of a better term) a reason. may you, and everyone here, and me, weather all the storms that come at us. hopefully, we’ll be getting the easy ones!

      Reply
  7. Kate@athousandbitsofpaper Avatar
    Kate@athousandbitsofpaper

    What did you learn from that time Michael? I think there are so many important lessons we learn in the dark and that perhaps we can only learn in the dark. Then again some crazy awful stuff just happens.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      when i said that thing about social hierarchies it wasn’t necessarily to say that it’s bad…i should have clarified that there’s a lot of conditionality and context once you hit downturns at that age and you are running in social circles. I’m sure you’ve been part of that dynamic and probably can articulate it better than I. but it was definitely an eye opener and now that i’m on the other side of that, i don’t prioritize the hierarchy games as much any longer and if i do – it’s for different, pragmatic reasons! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Nancy Homlitas Avatar
    Nancy Homlitas

    The best way to learn is to make mistakes. And you’re in good company. Everyone who can function in this world has made mistakes. It all began with Adam. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      that’s right Nancy. mistakes are the very best teacher and I can vouch for that. Everything I do now is reflected in the lessons I learned during that time. The world is a tough place whether we do everything perfectly or not so you’re definitely on the money Nancy. Although, perhaps let’s lay off a little bit on Adam and shine the spotlight on the real culprit of why we’re all here – that infernal lizard/fish that decided to leave the lake and experiment with breathing oxygen lol ;D

      Reply
  9. KikiFikar Avatar
    KikiFikar

    You know I felt such a sense of strength yet calm in every piece you’ve created. It’s apparent that you have fought through layers of life and came out swinging. That is true resilience my friend. The best part is that you do not give up.

    I’m here to listen should you need that extra ear!

    Proud of you Mike! 💪🏼❤️😊

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thanks Karen 🙂 it’s been a journey for all of us and the fact we can just blog about stuff and have a sense of gratitude says alot about our internal compass and strength!

      Reply
      1. KikiFikar Avatar
        KikiFikar

        Thank god our voices found each other!

        Reply
  10. vermavkv Avatar
    vermavkv

    Thank you for sharing such an honest and deeply personal reflection. It takes real courage to speak openly about success, failure, loss, and the long road to rebuilding. Your story is a powerful reminder that life’s greatest lessons often emerge from our most difficult seasons.

    I especially appreciated how you acknowledged that healing is rarely a straight path. Many people quietly carry chapters that never completely disappear, yet they continue moving forward with resilience and hope. Your photography, too, seems to have become more than a hobby—it became a source of light during some very dark days.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you Vijay. you articulated it very well when you said healing is rarely a straight path. i’ve often heard that gratitude for failure is the de facto attitude but I would place some nuance on that widely accepted consensus. i don’t know if i’m “thankful” that I experienced the pain moreso than I “understand” that it’s a part of a bigger neutral arc of existence that we have to pay as some type of default tax. but there’s no doubt that i learned stuff during that time and it is often the reference point from which i base my current actions!

      Reply
      1. vermavkv Avatar
        vermavkv

        Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful perspective. I really appreciate the nuance you’ve added. I agree that we don’t necessarily have to be thankful for the pain itself. Sometimes it’s enough to acknowledge that suffering is part of life’s journey and that it shapes us in ways we only understand with time.

        I especially liked your idea of pain being a “reference point” for present actions. That reflects wisdom earned through experience rather than theory.

        Reply
  11. Hazel Avatar
    Hazel

    Hugs, Kuya Mike. It may not be as horrible as my experiences, but still we feel pain. We all do. Stay amazing and happy weekend, nevertheless.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      yes Hazel, i hope that your pains have healed themselves through time and the natural order of survival and growth. i understand how tough it can be during those points of just trying to push through so i am sending good wishes and congratulations that you have come as far as you did 🙂

      Reply
      1. Hazel Avatar
        Hazel

        Thank you, Kuya Mike, but as always, my disability is with me that I’m accepting to navigate always.

        Reply
        1. Michael Williams Avatar
          Michael Williams

          i see Hazel, i never wanted to pry so i didn’t ask. and i also figured you don’t want to talk about your disability but you are an inspiration to me. did you get injured Hazel? do you have to have ongoing treatment to help? i will probably write about it in the future but around the time that i talked about in the post, i was ambushed and beaten severely by several people. the impacts to my head were severe enough where i was taken to a hospital and even though i was treated, i felt like something from that night stayed with me for the rest of my life. :/

          Reply
          1. Hazel Avatar
            Hazel

            I’m so sorry to hear that, Kuya. It may not heal the trauma completely, but at least we’re functioning well.

            Yes, I’m taking meds for a lifetime, but I prefer not to state what and how exactly I get it. I hope you understand.

            Reply
            1. Michael Williams Avatar
              Michael Williams

              of course Hazel, not to worry. i’m sending good vibes always!

              Reply
  12. ibarynt Avatar
    ibarynt

    That is a lovely photo Mike.

    To quite Charles Dickens, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Financial difficulty is not a joke at all and I’m sorry you went through that Mike. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like. You weathered it and those times have shaped you. We carry the lessons.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thanks Iba 🙂 at least we are all here now and we can appreciate the daily beauty of life.

      Reply
  13. justrojie Avatar
    justrojie

    i feel like that’s a time when there was a great recession too. the snap is beautiful btw

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thanks Roj! 🙂 yeah, that recession was tough! i guess we all make do with what we can right?

      Reply
  14. Kristen Reilly Avatar
    Kristen Reilly

    Thank you for sharing this. I think many people will see themselves somewhere in this story. Sometimes I think we don’t actually completely get over our hardest chapters we just learn to carry them a little differently. Sending you hugs Mike

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      exactly Kristen – this is what i was thinking too!

      Reply
  15. Mj Buck Avatar
    Mj Buck

    You’re photo is stunning. I’ve always wanted to visit NY. Thanks for sharing something so personal. It takes time to recover from a financial hit like bankruptcy. You’re still standing and writing to tell about the day! Take good care and keep going.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      hi MJ! thank you 🙂 NYC is a wonderful city, it’s just going through a phase right now lol.

      I guess we all go through phases, right? I suppose nothing is possible without survival and that’s always the first priority to take care of!

      Reply
  16. Aptivi Avatar
    Aptivi

    I’m so sorry to hear about that. Those were very hard years for you. You are so strong, though!

    I’d love to follow your blog since you write great things and one of my fellow bloggers recommended me your site, but I can’t see the button on my tablet.

    Have a nice week ahead! ☺️

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thank you Aptivi! yes, they were tough years that i don’t think i’d be able to navigate again, lol.

      as for following, i think because of my theme it would be easier if you looked at my site through the search field in the “Manage Subscriptions” link. i know it’s counterintuitive but you can pretty much find everyone there and it will lead you to the reader page of their blog where you can easily follow. you can search for “moderatelivingblog.com” and I’ll definitely pop up

      you have a great week too!

      Reply
      1. Aptivi Avatar
        Aptivi

        You’re most welcome, Michael! ☺️

        I’m now following your blog. I did it through the Manage Subscriptions link. Even though that I’m tech savvy, but yesterday I was tired and forgot about the Reader. Yeah, it’s the theme. Thank you so much for explaining!

        Thanks! ☺️

        Reply
        1. Michael Williams Avatar
          Michael Williams

          I am subbed to your site now too! can’t wait to read! 🙂

          Reply
          1. Aptivi Avatar
            Aptivi

            Thank you so much! I’m so glad that you followed my blog. ☺️

            Reply
  17. Edward Ortiz Avatar
    Edward Ortiz

    Terrible! My mom went through bankruptcy back in the late ’90s, and she struggled for a while. I’m still helping her, but she is better now. You will absolutely recover from this, Mike.

    Reply
    1. Michael Williams Avatar
      Michael Williams

      thanks Edward! it is a long and very tough road!

      Reply
      1. Edward Ortiz Avatar
        Edward Ortiz

        You’re welcome, and I understand. Hang in there, my friend.

        Reply

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